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[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY    

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TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]     

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>> � MY GRANDMA FELL OFF OF     

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THE ROOFTOP                     

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OH, GRANNY, YOU'VE GOT SOME     

6
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BAD LUCK                        

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BUT, OH, WHAT SHE SAID          

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WHEN SHE FELL ON HER HEAD       

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SHE YELLED OUT AN EAR SPLITTING 

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F--OLLOW JESUS                  

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HAVE FAITH IN THE LORD          

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PRAISE HIS NAME                 

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AND RECEIVE YOUR REWARD �       

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>> REVEREND COLESBY!

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>> HA HA, OK, THAT WAS THE      

16
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STOOGEMATAS WITH "SAVING CREAM."

17
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AND HERE'S THE NUMBER ONE       

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HOLY-LARIOUS HIT                

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FROM THE VIRGIN HARRY,          

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"HOMOSEXUAL HOP."               

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[WOLF HOWLS]                    

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>> � I WAS WALKING THROUGH THE  

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VILLAGE ONE FINE DAY            

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WHERE THE GODLESS GAYS          

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ALL ROMP AND PLAY               

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IT WAS A HOP                    

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A HOMOSEXUAL HOP                

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IT WAS A-- �

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>> YIPPEE, CHURCH!              

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FINALLY.                        

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>> WHOA, THERE.                 

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WHAT'S THE RUSH?                

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GOD'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.       

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>> OH, HI, COACH STOPFRAME.     

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>> OREL, THIS IS MY NEPHEW JOE. 

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HE'S KIND OF NEW TO THIS WHOLE  

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CHURCH THING.                   

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I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD BE    

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HIS BIBLE BUDDY.                

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>> SURE THING!                  

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COME ON, JOE, I'LL SHOW YOU MY  

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FAVORITE BARTHOLOMEW QUOTES.

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>> UH, YIPPEE.                  

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>> DANIEL.                      

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>> CLAY, THERE HE IS.           

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>> MINE!                        

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>> HEH HEH.                     

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IT LOOKS LIKE EVERYBODY WANTS   

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A PIECE OF ME LATELY.           

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HA HA HA.                       

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>> HA HA HA.                    

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>> HA HA HA.                    

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>> HA HA HA.                    

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AHH.                            

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>> FRIENDS...NO,                

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I'M NOT CALLING YOU FRIENDS,

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MY SERMON IS ABOUT FRIENDS.     

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HA HA!                          

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GOTCHA.                         

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GOD WANTS YOU TO BE LOYAL TO    

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YOUR FRIENDS,                   

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JUST LIKE THE WAY JESUS WAS     

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LOYAL TO HIS DISCIPLES.         

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SURE, THEY EVENTUALLY           

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SCREWED HIM...                  

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I MEAN, HERE YOU HAVE JESUS,    

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THE SON OF GOD,                 

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RIGHT IN YOUR BACK POCKET,      

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AND JUDAS BLOWS THE WHOLE THING 

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BY TATTLING TO THE JEWS.

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TALK ABOUT EGG ON YOUR FACE.    

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JUDAS HAD A SERIOUS OMELET      

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FACE MASK.                      

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HMM, THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.        

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OMELET...FACE MASK.             

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HA HA HA!                       

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SOMETIMES YOU JUST WING IT      

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UP HERE, AND IT WORKS.          

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ANYWAY.                         

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AVOID YOUR OWN OMELET FACE      

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MASK.                           

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STAY LOYAL TO YOUR FRIENDS,     

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DO WHAT THEY WANT, HUMOR THEM,  

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EVEN LIE TO THEM IF IT MAKES

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THEM FEEL GOOD.                 

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THAT WAY, BOTH JESUS AND GOD    

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WILL LOOK DOWN UPON YOU AND     

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SMILE.                          

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AND NOT IN A MOCKING WAY,       

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EITHER. AMEN.                   

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>> AMEN!                        

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RIGHT, JOE?                     

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>> DON'T ASK ME.                

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>> OK.                          

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>> REVEREND PUTTY?              

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>> YES, OREL?                   

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>> I AGREE WITH YOUR SERMON     

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THAT BEING DISLOYAL IS LIKE

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WEARING AN OMELET MASK.         

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>> OMELET FACE MASK.            

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GET IT RIGHT...                 

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AND YOU'LL GO TO HEAVEN.        

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>> RIGHT.                       

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I WANT YOU TO MEET MY NEW       

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FRIEND JOE.                     

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I'M GOING TO PRACTICE SOME      

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LOYALTY ON HIM.                 

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>> HELLO, JOE.                  

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>> COME ON, OREL, IT'S ABOUT    

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TIME WE HAD SOME FUN.           

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>> OK, JOE.                     

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>> OREL, LOOK BOTH WAYS CROSSING

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THE STREET IN YOUR GOOD SUIT.   

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>> DRINK!                       

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>> NO, SHAPEY, YOU ARE CUT OFF. 

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>> MINE.                        

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>> HEY, REVEREND,               

118
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WOULDN'T DEVILED EGG MAKE MORE  

119
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SENSE THAN OMELET FOR JUDAS?    

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>> NO.                          

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>> COME ON, OREL,               

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DO IT WITH ME.                  

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IT'S FUN.                       

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>> OK, JOE.                     

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YAY!                            

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>> HEY, OREL, INSTEAD OF

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THROWING ROCKS AT MY DAD'S CAR, 

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HOW ABOUT PLAYING WITH ME       

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AND TOMMY AND HIM?              

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>> CAN'T, DOUGHY,               

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I'M BUSY HANGING OUT WITH       

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MY NEW FRIEND, JOE.             

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>> YEAH, SO SCRAM.              

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[THUD]                          

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>> I'VE GOT TO BE LOYAL!        

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HA HA HA!                       

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>> DIE, YOU DIRTY ANTS.         

138
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THAT'S FOR MOVING OUR DIRT      

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AROUND.                         

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HEH HEH HEH.

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>> YEAH!                        

142
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HA HA.                          

143
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>> BOY, THAT JOE SEEMS LIKE BAD 

144
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NEWS.                           

145
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>> YEAH, TOMMY, AND I'LL BET    

146
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OREL IS GONNA END UP BEING BAD  

147
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NEWS, TOO, BECAUSE OF JOE.      

148
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>> GEE, I HOPE NOT.             

149
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>> DO YOU REALLY THINK WE       

150
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SHOULD BE DOING THIS?           

151
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>> YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.          

152
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THIS IS BORING.                 

153
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HEY, I GOT IT.                  

154
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I KNOW THIS PLACE IN BLACKLIST

155
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FOREST WHERE A BUNCH OF BOYS    

156
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MEET UP AND DO IMMORAL THINGS.  

157
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LET'S GRAB SOME BASEBALL BATS   

158
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AND CLOBBER THEM.               

159
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>> OH, WELL, IT MIGHT BE        

160
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GETTING LATE.                   

161
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>> OH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY    

162
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LOYAL FRIEND.                   

163
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>> WELL, OK, IF YOU REALLY      

164
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WANT TO.                        

165
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THEN I'LL DO IT FOR YOU.        

166
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>> THANKS!                      

167
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NOW, LET'S GO BASH SOME         

168
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WEIRDIES.

169
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>> HEY, THERE'S MY FRIENDS.     

170
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>> LET'S DITCH THEM.            

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HEH HEH HEH.                    

172
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>> YOU'RE NICE.                 

173
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>> YOU'RE NICE.                 

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>> YOU'RE NICE.                 

175
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>> YOU'RE NICE.                 

176
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>> YOU'RE NICE.                 

177
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>> YOU'RE NICE.                 

178
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>> NOTHING WEIRD GOING ON HERE. 

179
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>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?          

180
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I DON'T KNOW AS MUCH ABOUT GOD  

181
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AS YOU DO, BUT I SURE KNOW      

182
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THEY'RE GOING TO HELL.

183
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>> HUH? THEY ARE?               

184
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OH, I MEAN YEAH, THEY'RE        

185
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GOING TO HELL ALL RIGHT.        

186
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>> AND HELL IS STARTING NOW.    

187
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LET'S GET THEM!                 

188
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HA HA HA.                       

189
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UH.                             

190
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WHEE!                           

191
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>> GEE, GOD, I KNOW I'M BEING   

192
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LOYAL TO JOE AND ALL,           

193
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,293
BUT SOMETHING ABOUT THIS JUST   

194
00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:36,795
DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT.             

195
00:06:36,962 --> 00:06:38,397
>> OREL, SHUT UP AND KEEP       

196
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CLOBBERING.

197
00:06:40,866 --> 00:06:43,301
>> YOU GOT IT, FRIEND!          

198
00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:44,202
>> THIS SURE ISN'T GOOD,        

199
00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:45,370
IS IT, TOMMY.                   

200
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>> IT SURE ISN'T, DOUGHY.       

201
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:47,872
JOE'S GOT HIM WRAPPED AROUND HIS

202
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:49,307
LITTLE FINGER.                  

203
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:50,975
>> TOMMY, DOUGHY, WE SHOULD GO  

204
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:52,745
LET OREL'S DAD KNOW.            

205
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,046
>> YOU'RE RIGHT!                

206
00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:55,614
LET'S GO, COME ON, TOMMY.       

207
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,152
>> HERE, SHAPEY, PLAY WITH THIS 

208
00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:01,453
IN THE GRASS.                   

209
00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:04,089
BUT DON'T SPILL IT.             

210
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,190
>> MINE!

211
00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:14,699
>> HA HA HA.                    

212
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:18,136
AHH.                            

213
00:07:18,304 --> 00:07:19,804
>> HI, MR. PUFFINGTON.          

214
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:20,973
>> WELL, IF IT ISN'T DOUGHY,    

215
00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:22,441
TOMMY, AND THE GANG.            

216
00:07:22,608 --> 00:07:23,408
WHAT'S UP?                      

217
00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:24,443
>> I'M WORRIED ABOUT OREL.      

218
00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:26,344
>> AHH, YES, WORRY.             

219
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,313
I REMEMBER THAT.                

220
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:29,514
>> ME, DOUGHY, AND HIM ARE ALL  

221
00:07:29,582 --> 00:07:31,283
WORRIED, MR. PUFFINGTON.        

222
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,084
>> WHY?                         

223
00:07:32,251 --> 00:07:32,951
>> WELL, IT'S KIND OF           

224
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,052
EMBARRASSING.

225
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:35,220
>> YEAH, IT'S HARD TO TALK      

226
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:35,954
ABOUT.                          

227
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,922
>> WELL, WHY NOT DO WHAT I DO   

228
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,424
WHEN I HAVE SOMETHING THAT'S    

229
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:42,260
DIFFICULT TO TALK ABOUT?        

230
00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:42,995
>> SO, THEN, WE JUST CAME       

231
00:07:43,162 --> 00:07:44,162
OVER HERE.                      

232
00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:44,963
>> YEAH, YEAH, AND ANOTHER      

233
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,565
THING--JOE IS REALLY MEAN.      

234
00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:47,499
[LAUGHING]                      

235
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:48,801
>> THEY BOTH RAN AWAY LAUGHING. 

236
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:49,534
>> OK, BOYS.                    

237
00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:50,935
ALL RIGHT.                      

238
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:53,872
WELL, THANKS, I'LL HANDLE IT.

239
00:07:54,039 --> 00:07:54,673
>> YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HIT HIM, 

240
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:56,208
ARE YOU, MR. PUFFINGTON?        

241
00:07:56,376 --> 00:07:57,942
>> OH, DOUGHY, GOD WANTS US TO  

242
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,744
BEAT YOU KIDS WHEN YOU ARE BAD. 

243
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:00,979
>> HE DOES?                     

244
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>> YES.                         

245
00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:03,415
>> WHY?                         

246
00:08:03,583 --> 00:08:05,918
>> BECAUSE.                     

247
00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:11,824
>> GEE, I WISH HE WAS MY DAD.   

248
00:08:23,469 --> 00:08:24,403
>> DAD!                         

249
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,970
>> OREL, FUN'S OVER.            

250
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,572
GET IN THE CAR.                 

251
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,207
>> BUT I'M BUSY BEING LOYAL     

252
00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:30,509
TO JOEY.

253
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:31,309
>> TIME TO BE LOYAL TO YOUR     

254
00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:32,544
FATHER.                         

255
00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:34,546
IN MY STUDY.                    

256
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:48,693
>> YOU'RE NICE.                 

257
00:08:48,762 --> 00:08:50,663
>> YOU'RE NICE.                 

258
00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:53,031
>> YOU'RE NICE.                 

259
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,899
>> YOU'RE NICE.                 

260
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:55,768
>> OREL, I CAN'T IMAGINE THAT   

261
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:56,969
YOU DIDN'T FEEL SOME GUILT OVER 

262
00:08:57,136 --> 00:08:58,671
WHAT YOU WERE DOING WITH JOE.   

263
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>> THAT'S JUST IT, DAD.         

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I DID FEEL GUILT, BUT I COULDN'T

265
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PUT MY FINGER ON WHY EXACTLY.   

266
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>> THAT'S HARD TO BELIEVE, SON.

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YOUR FRIENDSHIP AND LOYALTY TO  

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00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:08,480
JOE LED YOU TO HURTING OTHER    

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PEOPLE.                         

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>> YEAH, THOSE BOYS IN THE      

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FOREST.                         

272
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>> NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR   

273
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3 REAL FRIENDS.                 

274
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DOUGHY AND TOMMY AND THE REST.  

275
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>> OH, YEAH.                    

276
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>> YOU WENT OUT ROMPING AROUND  

277
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AND GALLIVANTING WITH JOE, AND  

278
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YOU NEVER ASKED THOSE 3 LONG-   

279
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TIME PALS OF YOURS TO JOIN IN.  

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>> HMM.

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YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S WHAT    

282
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BOTHERED ME?                    

283
00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:28,233
>> ARE YOU QUESTIONING ME,      

284
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,001
YOUNG MAN?                      

285
00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:30,102
>> OH, NO, DAD.                 

286
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:31,370
>> I DIDN'T THINK SO.           

287
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:32,837
GOD DOESN'T WANT YOU TO BE LOYAL

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TO ONE FRIEND                   

289
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AND DISLOYAL TO OTHER FRIENDS   

290
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AT THE SAME TIME, OREL.         

291
00:09:36,976 --> 00:09:38,010
YOU KNOW THE LOST 18th          

292
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:39,144
COMMANDMENT.                    

293
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THOU SHALT BE LOYAL TO ALL THY  

294
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:43,515
FRIENDS AT THE SAME TIME.

295
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:44,949
>> OH, YEAH.                    

296
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,618
>> SO, YOU SEE, FRIENDSHIP IS A 

297
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:47,886
COMPLICATED HEADACHE,           

298
00:09:48,053 --> 00:09:49,788
BUT IT'S ULTIMATELY WORTH IT.   

299
00:09:49,955 --> 00:09:51,756
>> BUT WHAT ABOUT THOSE KIDS    

300
00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:52,925
WE BEAT UP?                     

301
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,793
>> SON, KIDS YOU BEAT UP WILL   

302
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,961
ALWAYS COME AND GO, BUT FRIENDS 

303
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:58,963
ARE FOREVER.                    

304
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,032
>> WOW.                         

305
00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:01,766
THAT'S REALLY WISE, DAD.        

306
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:02,501
THANKS!                         

307
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:03,668
>> NO PROBLEM.                  

308
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:05,237
>> NOW, LET'S GO DRINK DINNER.

309
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:08,707
>> DON'T YOU MEAN EAT DINNER?   

310
00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:10,676
>> YEAH.                        

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[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY    

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00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:17,215
TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]     

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[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL      

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00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:19,551
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE            

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--www.ncicap.org--]